PERFORMANCE
When it comes to your truck and SUV, the phrase ‘bigger is better’ really has no choice but to apply. Of course there are smaller trucks, which I’ll hit on lightly here, but the news for the ‘04 is BIG — big trucks, big SUV’s, big wheels, big engines... B.I.G. baby baby! The most common things to add to these behemoths are very similar to cars: wheels, stereos, TV’s, and engine performance parts.
Let’s get the mini truck talk wrapped up first. I’m in no way prejudice against them, but, lately, their popularity has been dying rapidly as Americans become infatuated with things of colossal proportions. Mini trucks are like dinosaurs — they used to run this mofo. The tricks of the trade on them were to get a Chevy S10, slam it to the ground, and give it the female armpit treatment — moldings, handles, all body contours: shave ‘em all clean. This was the stereotypical mini back in he days. Now a dying breed, they’re still able to find some shelter cohabiting with other tricked-out rides at local parking lot shows, where their species is still accepted.
The rapid decline in the mini truck’s population can largely be attributed to a larger beast dwelling on the top of the food chain. These species, known as the full-size truck and SUV, have quickly become the transportation of choice for Rap celebrities, big ballers, and soccer moms. Not that your mom would rock her Ford Expedition the way ‘Ol Dirty Bastard would, but it’s the same vehicle at heart.
When you get your large truck, you’ve got to make everything about it “big.” The place to start is the wheels. Sure your 17’s are big...for an ‘85 Tercel. Time to plus-size them biotches up to the big leagues. Rim sizes are finally getting proportional with the SUVs they’re being fitted too. After seeing a Hummer on 24’s you can’t imagine anything smaller on it — it just doesn’t look right anymore. Twenties are about as small as you can go if you’re designing a custom these days. Some companies, like Dodge and Ford, even make factory 20’s available on their pickup trucks. If you can get them stock from the factory, you know you have to one-up ‘em.
An aspect about your big rollers that’s very important is the wheel’s lip. Right now, the hotness with the lip is, of course, big lip. You want the deepest dish available. It gets no better than that huge chrome lip to reflect all of your spinning spokes in all of their glory.
As far as the wheel’s finish goes, Chrome is still, by far, the most popular choice. Mark my words though: black wheels with chrome lips are really going to start getting their groove on with SUVs. You can only bling for so long before the bling is gone. Chrome, like anything else, will get played out and people will search alternatives. Get a jump-start — throw on some high gloss black wheels with a giant chrome lip.
Just remember, if you save up enough loot for those monster windmills, make sure you have change left over for tires. To give you an idea, the largest wheels you can easily buy over the shelf are probably 26’s. Kumho makes a 26-inch tire, and each one costs over a hefty G.
Once you get your roll-on, its time for the boom. What’s the best way to use up all that handy utility space in your SUV? Several dozen giant subwoofers, of course. You got the big dubs, so get the big subs. All that empty space needs filling. (Its not like you’re going to get any girls back there anyway, so at least have the bass to shatter their painted press on nails.) Lots of space is an audio freak’s Mecca — there are so many options for what you can fit.
The extra room is also the ideal environment for a gaggle of TV’s. Little ones in headrests, large flip down ones from the roof — the possibilities are endless, and will carry on until your wallet’s empty and your one sponsor, MasterCard, has had enough of you.
For the icing on the cake, it’s all about the engine. The best way to say ‘I’m-large-and-in-charge’ is by supercharging your big V8 power plant. It gets no sillier than a big truck with an engine to back it up. Besides, after you’ve added weight from the 26-inch rims that you just slapped on (they are not light by and means!), a dozen subwoofers, and multiple video monitors, your engine is going to need a little assistance. What’s better than smoking a Civic in your truck, while towing a Civic? Man, will he feel like a loser when he gets passed twice. Most of the more popular trucks on the market have an aftermarket- or factory-made supercharger available for them. If you have money left over after your ‘attention-getters’ have been added, make sure you hit up the performance end. If a supercharger is out of your price range, there are plenty of other things you can do, such as an upgraded exhaust system or a cold air intake.
Want to really stand out? Find a carbon fiber hood — it will truly cap off your look while giving it a sporty edge. They’re not that popular on trucks yet, so not many are produced. Numerous places work with Carbon fiber these days, I’m sure you can find one that would be happy to custom-make a hood for you.
As you can see, building a truck or SUV is just like hooking up a car, just on a bigger scale. Their additional ride height also makes them more practical, until you go adding on custom front valences and the like. The only downside with all this big talk is it costs big bucks, so make sure your bank account is in check before you get underway on project pimp-a-lot. n
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